Hey this is Terry Bean once again coming at you live with Business Growth Time. And by live I mean I’m live but you’re going to be listening to this in a recording. We’ve got a cool show today. We’re going to be talking about building rapport. Janet’s got a great tip for you, I’m excited to hear it because I don’t even know what it is. And of course we’ve got our little guess-that-song and Janet’s pretty clear, man. She’s going to try and stump me today, I can’t wait. With me, as always, my good friend, high school pal, Janet E. Johnson and the E stands for evergreen. Hey Janet!
Ohhh! Evergreen, I like evergreen. Evergreen makes life easier when you’re on the internet.
Absolutely. It keeps going and going and being from Minnesota man, you’re surrounded by evergreen.
That’s true, that’s true. Exactly, exactly. Well cool, thanks Terry. Awesome to be back with you. We haven’t done a show in a while, just the two of us hanging out. So it’s neat to be able to kind of come back to that. If a little more, you know, just old high school buddies almost, you know, chatting we’re old as in we were just discussing that.
Thanks for bringing that back up, yeah. That’s right. We just posted a picture of a high school friend of ours from 1989, the year we graduated. It was interesting. We were both holding cocktails the year we graduated high school. I don’t know how that happened. Maybe they were, maybe they were fake. I think they were fake cocktails but so much better.
We used to get away with a lot and we’re keep a good close eye on my 16-year old at this point.
Right! My kids’ not going to fool me because been there, done that.
Exactly, exactly. We got away with a lot so yeah. My dad doesn’t even want to hear. So that’s kind of
Is there a statute to limitations on that stuff? You have to come clean with your parents, how does that work?
You know I ask him if he want me to dall and he said absolutely not.
There has to be reciprocity right because they’d have to clear with you, too. And you, like, you’d be more shocking because I think about the age our parents are and what they were doing in the 60s. Come on, we’re not even out then.
Maybe, yeah, I don’t know. Yeah, it’s hard to say. But you know I think the scary thing right now, if you talk about children now is the internet, you know, and the way they have access to everything so easily. So that’s, that’s the scary society we’re in today that is so different from when we, we were teenagers, so.
Our daughter was watching that Katy Perry song, I think it’s Katy Perry – I Kissed a Girl. And three videos removed from Katy Perry I Kissed a Girl, is really inappropriate stuff for young teenagers or young kids to be watching. Probably inappropriate for a lot of people to be watching.
Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. So that’s the way of our world. Well we, we want to get into the tip. I have a fun tip. I have told a lot of people about this but it’s actually a new product. Well, it’s just a little app. So if you’re interested in it, whoever’s interested, this cost $1.99.
Dollar, ninety-nine.
Might break your bank. But it’s, well most apps are free, you try it for free but this is a buy-right away type app. What it is, I don’t know Terry if you’ve seen recently, your not on Instagram, are you? Or you
We’ve talked about, I spy on my child on Instagram and that’s the extent of my Instagram
Got it. Okay, well after our interview with Keri, I decided that I need to really, maybe just put our show, the pictures that are created on to Instagram. But I was like how are we going to lead them to Business Growth Time? And I found this app, it’s called Legend. And I have to give a shout out to Social Media Examiner because they’re actually, I’ve seen their podcast and they brought this. And once I played with this little app, it’s so fun. So what it does is you take that image and you go into Legend. Take the image, you put the, any words you want across it. So I put the exact show that we have. So businessgrowthtime.com/52, 53, whatever show I’m promoting. And then it turns that, puts the words across, moving, any way it is but it ends up being a video. And we will be doing the whole show on videos. I love videos and I always talk about how much videos are the way of the world on the internet. Well now we can turn that picture within 30 seconds, 20 seconds into a video, boom boom boom, send it out to Instagram and now we have a movie. I have more engagement, more likes and comments and I don’t believe they’re sharing on Instagram but on these types because they’re moving people’s screens versus just the static pictures. So Legend.
Series of photos kind of strung together to make it look like it’s actually a movie. Is there sound or is it just the visual?
There’s no sound but it’s actually just an image. It’s a still, one still image.
Oh.
But the businessgrowthtime.com is moving across the screen. And then it comes back, it circles around. It’s like a, they can make a gif out of it so it circles around and it comes on again and again. So it’s neat. And you can pick all sorts of different styles, that kind of thing. So the Legend is one. And there’s another one but I’ll save that for a different show.
Oh!
There’s another fun, fun video on, too. So we’ll have to divulge that. I’ve been just, I don’t know, I actually downloaded, maybe that’s another show, Meerkat. And I was at Periscope. Scary to say, I was actually going to record this. One of this days we’ll put up and record.
I like it, I like it a lot. I’m
So
I want to do this live all the time and you know people watch and come in and make fun and do what they do.
Exactly.
So I like your little Cliffhanger, right, a little tease! Now people are going to have to come back to hear this next tip. I’m sure they’ll be like, oh my God when’s the next episode going to be! When’s the next episode going to be, we already know, right?
It’s always on a Thursday so just be prepared for Thursdays. Every Thursday we have a new show. Exactly.
We have a new show on Thursday, it’s true. We have a like a cadence so I’m so excited. We really have cadence.
We are being really good at being consistent. It’s something that is so important. Now there are times that the consistency goes off, yeah. It’s like a diet. It’s like if you want to lose weight, yeah you may give in to that big chocolate cake or whatever. It’s just like you’re maybe going to miss a week, but you just got to get back on it. So that’s my next tip for people is just stay consistent with all that you’re doing in marketing.
My wife made a fantastic big chocolate cake last Sunday and I had a huge chunk of it on Sunday. And we brought it back and I never had another piece of it. I was very very proud of myself.
That is good!
With berries on it, oh so good.
Ohhhh. See, yeah, I just don’t have that stuff around. Makes my life easier.
Well the best way for me to not have it around is to eat it.
Ahhhh.
That’s why we have to get rid of it. Let me take care of that cookie.
I don’t like it around. Well let’s get into our subject matter. We have the tips, we give a coupe tips. We’ll give a couple each time. If there’s something new out there I definitely love to test the things so I let people know. But we want to talk about building rapport. So building rapport, building relationships. And we want to talk about this offline and online. So there’s always different ways. So let’s get into that. You go ahead and start Terry. You’re the man!
Yeah, I don’t know about all that. But I will recall that in social media and in real world networking situations, one of the best ways to build rapport is to listen first. We always want to talk and share what we know and try and sound smart or try and sound concerned or try and sound this or that or the other thing. Really and truly, the best way to build rapport is to honor the people we’re communicating with and let them speak first. Let them go first and have an after-you approach. Really, really powerful way to build rapport.
Like that tip. I had a meeting this morning where I met, it was a small group, less than ten people but it was really good. And people were learning that, they partnered up and learned that kind of thing. That would have been a great tip. But how you, if you give that as a tip in the first place, how do you say – no you start, no you start, no you start!
You know it so funny, it’s a great question. I teach this as a matter of course and people, you can always tell. And no, I want you to go first, no I want you to go first and it’s a cycle. It’s like when two guys are walking into a door and one opens the door for the other one and neither one really knows what to do because it’s almost a foreign concept. Somebody, eventually has to go. So you just finally, you know, you go. So if you’re really sincere about letting them go, they’ll go first. And really, what’s some of the best things about it specially from a business networking pieces, if you let someone go first and they tell you all about them and they don’t return the favor, right, they don’t listen to you or honor you or take the time to understand your needs, you know exactly what kind of future relationship you’re not going to have with that person.
I really like what you just said, yes. And I’ve seen it. We’ve all been witnessed to it. And we may even be guilty of it, you know. I’m not saying I’m not guilty of that either necessarily. It depends on the situation, maybe. Who knows! But I think that is, and it also kind of shows the type of person you’re talking to
Yes man! They reveal themselves in that instant far more than what they could ever say.
Now I’ve been to a lot more networking events lately than I used to. I mean this week was three, believe it or not. And I was sitting behind my computer more before. And I even have a couple scheduled next week. So my question for you though is let’s, I get what you’re saying and I’m picturing it because I’m so recent with all these networking events but let’s bring that online instead of offline.
Online is, you know if you’re about to do a brand campaign or about to start messaging, you want to kind of understand what the lay of the land is. What people are talking about, what they’re saying about your industry, or people in it or the type of things that you do. Or if you want to actually engage with someone, so you’re going after a top leader that you really want to connect with. Or a celebrity or whoever you want to go and target. You want to actually pay attention to what they’re doing. I differentiate the idea of listening and hearing all the time. Hearing is a physiological act, listening involves that physiological act to an extent but also some sort of process inside of your brain where you’re actually understanding the message and taking the time to respond to it as opposed to just reacting. Therefore based on all the online stuff we do where we’re reading status updates and memes and other things all day long, I would argue that we don’t have to learn how to listen with our eyes a little bit and use reading as a form of listening, as well.
Hmmm, hmmm, yes. And to bring that a step further what you were discussing is you know the responding piece. So bringing that into social media, on Facebook, I always suggest to people that are running a business page or, and I’m not just Facebook but I’m just using that as an example, that you want to make sure that if people are engaging with you and they’re actually talking to you, you want to be sure to not let them just talk at you and you don’t respond.
Cool info.
So even adding that little like, which is the lazy way. You can make a conversation and show the true interest and go the step further to take your time to actually write out a response, it’s much better than just hitting that like.
Well Facebook added the reply feature recently. It’s been, it’s not a month, right? That’s pretty new thing.
It was new on the personal profiles but it’s been on the business pages for a long time.
Okay, fair enough, good point. So on the personal page it’s a month old maybe.
Uh-huh.
In the business profile, it’s been there for a couple of years now?
It’s been a while, uh-huh, I don’t know how long but, yeah. And they were messy so it’s good they didn’t do it in the beginning, it was a mess where people , bunch of people would see even if you replied to one. But I agree, it’s a great feature to have. So I think they’ve got the kinks out now.
I like it, I like it a lot. I think it’s, it stirs up engagement and it’s kind of funny because sometimes people are now reading replies to people that had, you know, realistically I didn’t reply to you. I don’t know why you’re reading that but, you know, if you want to jump in on this conversation go right ahead, I don’t mind.
It’s the snooping thing, yes, exactly. Sometimes it’s more fun see and read the comments.
Absolutely! I see some stuff
That means that you see you’re awesome.
Absolutely! I had, there are times, you know, but I, I have really different worlds on Facebook, right. I have old friends that know me exceedingly well and I have people that have only ever seen me, you know, in a real public place. So they don’t know, let’s call it my overall quirkiness. And so I’m a little more snarky with people that I’ve known for twenty, thirty years than I am just in general. So I’m kind of a dick sometimes, is what I’m really saying. And it’s a whole different world, right? People aren’t necessarily expecting that.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So yeah, well there’s the way to bring the whole rapport thing in. And you can build rapport with people in different ways depending on how you know them. And once again this goes back to offline and online. So it can be both places.
So let’s take another tip here: find common ground. Find things that you both share as an experience. It could be where you went to school, it could be the fact that you have kids. It could be the sports you played or the sports you enjoyed to watch, types of movies you like, whatever it may be. And you know what’s a really big one, a really big one? Food!
For me it wouldn’t be but….
Yeah, I’m not a foodie but there’s a lot of foodie type people. But you seem kind of excited about the chocolate cake thing, don’t lie.
You know what, okay, let’s use an example, a real world example. This happened to me at the event I was at. Same exact thing you just said and when I mentioned I grew up in Bloomington, they said, ‘oh so did I.” As soon as you get to high school thing and you’ve got that conversation going. But it was hilarious and anybody that’s from the Bloomington area would understand this but people around the world are not going to understand this. He said, “oh so were you Kennedy, Jefferson or Lincoln?” And I go, “ohhh, I go Lincoln?” I go your aging me!
Okay the joke is Lincoln closed eight years before we were even remotely in high school.
He knows a person and he goes, oh I’m removing Lincoln from that whole conversation in the future.
That’s it, that’s so funny though,.
But then we hit it off, so it does make sense that one common ground thing happen and it breaks that barrier. It breaks that wall down. So how could we do that online though? I mean you’re not necessarily talk about your high school and food. Well I suppose people talk about food. Those people, I don’t.
People talk about food all day long, my God there’s more food porn online than we know what to do with it if you think about it. The other thing that I see a lot of are movies and television shows, right? Which is a way that people spend their downtime. And certainly sports, my goodness, there’s more live tweeting going on during a sporting event.
Yes.
Than most of that, right? So you can really engage with people. I know some of our friends are Vikings fans and we can have a communication, conversation with them all day long about every different aspect of the game. So that’s a great way to jump in a conversation. Use that new reply feature on Facebook or what have you.
Twitter’s really fantastic.
To really start a conversation.
Right.
Yes, Twitter’s the one for those types of conversation, they’re real time.
Yeah, absolutely. And you, and you hashtag it out and you can just start following all the other people that are talking about the exact same thing that you’re experiencing. Same thing with American Idol or
I was just can see The Voice, yes, those have done a really good job of really bringing in the Twitter. They even have Twitter votes at the end of The Voice, things like that. So they’ve done a really good job with the, you know, building the, showing the audience they care, too. Showing the audience that hey we care about you and that you watch our show. American Idol might not because they’re cancelled now.
Yeah.
Yeah, as of next year.
I’ve never done my thing. I, you know, I have more power to you if you can sing and do well on that show but you know, I, it’s a train wreck to me. Unfortunately only time I ever, ever watched was during the try-outs and it was more for entertainment.
Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly. You’re right though, I agree that even, you know, The Bachelorette did all sing, people are like, it’s crazy, so anything in this arena. Now let’s go to business though. This can happen the same thing with business if you talk about a book. You know what’s the great, what’s the best book you’ve read that, you know, for successful business relationships.
Great sales books, great networking books, great books on leadership, great books on management, all day long.
Exactly. So there’s a lot of things in business. Or even look at the question you had for the, we bring it up all the time – two social networks. We’re talking social media but look at all the people that were just chiming in because we’re talking social media. Coz everybody exist there so it’s something that people have in common. So finding that common ground is the bottom line and then building from that.
And that’s the key. I came up with this concept awhile ago, it’s all about relatevertsing. So we don’t advertise anymore or because it just gets lost in the shuffle. If our message doesn’t relate with our ideal audience, it doesn’t matter. So relatevertising is kind of what this is all about and finding common ground is the core of being able to relate with the people you want to.
I’m going to write that down, relatevertising. That’s our hashtag this week.
It’s our hashtag. Well, you know, we were talking about and ebook earlier and I’ve written about 25 pages of that. Maybe I’ll dust that often.
There you go, relatevertising.
Maybe that will be, well yeah. I mean conceptually it was all kind of just well rounded, almost thought out document. So the key to common ground, and this is our next tip is asking really good questions. We talked about listening earlier, listening critical, critical skill. The skill that compliments that better than anything else is asking the right questions. And you can ask open-ended questions where people are going to go on and give you a little bit more of a specific answer. You can ask 4-choice questions where people have to choose from a, b, c or d as an answer. Or you can ask close-ended questions where it’s just as simple as a yes or no. And you can do this in real world or online.
Absolutely!
All the time.
Absolutely! I mean this is something that’s taught all the time. You need to use questions, fill-in-the-blanks, anything that’s going to get people interacting is the way social media works. So online that’s a great way to do it but it’s, in reality it’s a fantastic tip but we should know that already. You know what I mean, it’s something that we think we maybe forget. But I guess I’ve always been a big question person. When I meet people I just constantly asking lots of questions but it’s just maybe my personality type, too. So that’s a good reminder.
It could be a personality type. I’ll tell you what, I think people are as scared as they are cocky oftentimes. I meet a lot of people and they’re really far more interested in themselves than in the people that are around them. And it tell you to take a really healthy interest in the people around you, you’re going to have a harder time with either business networking or social networking whichever the case may be.
Sure, sure. And a lot of people out there are entrepreneurs that need to build their business. So instead of being me, me, me, it’s you, you , you and what can I do for you, it will come back to you. And that’s, we talked about that on our show, the other show that you had discussed. And I wish I remember the number off the top of my head, but I don’t. I think it was just a couple of shows ago.
Fifty-three. Episode 53 is the answer to that question.
You know what, your memory, I don’t know. This is the perfect time. We’re going to interrupt and then we’re going to have to wrap up but I want to, since we’re talking about memory, we’re going to test Terry’s memory.
Oh yeah, I can’t wait.
Are we ready? But you know what, while I’m getting this we are running close on time so why don’t you go and wrap up. Is there another tip to kind of finalize this and then we’ll finish up with it.
You know what there’s a few more but I’m going to use this one because I think it’s important and this is more applicable to a networking event than on social media but a little bit there. It’s be respectful of other people’s time. If you had a networking event, you’re there to network, you’re there to meet some new people, you’re certainly there to maintain relationship with old people but don’t just stay and stand and talk to the same person the whole time. Let them go meet other people and do yourself a favor and get out and meet other people, as well. Be respectful of time, not just theirs but yours, too.
Fantastic tip. It happens where you end up talking to the same person suddenly and then somebody comes in, that’s one thing that to add to that. If you are talking to somebody and somebody walks in, you want to invite them in and open, not turn your back-type thing because. “Hey I’m in a conversation , get out here.” If that ever happens, hey, you know, what’s your name, how are you, you know, and then we bring them into the conversation. That’s great. Alrighty, well I think this was some real good tips to bring and I want to make sure that everybody brings it, things about this online, too, and really find a way to bring it into their social media because a lot of people say, ‘well you know, I don’t get any engagement, I don’t get’ and I’m guilty. We’re all guilty of talking at people but if you talk with people and actually create a conversation by asking questions, that kind of thing, it’s going to skyrocket your business. It may not seen at first but it will create that engagement which, hey, the key to the news feed and the algorithm on Facebook is to get people to engage. So if you are doing this networking the right way, you’ll get people to engage naturally.
That explains why I see one of my buddies post all the time. He gets crazy engagement.
That’s it.
That’s why I never miss a post, even if I want to.
Great! So he’s good at it, he’s good at it. Alright, okay, here is the song. I know we’re not going to stump Terry but I have to just, I try. I think this is every time we do a show I’m going to pick the music coz I’m not good at this thing but Terry is.
We’ll see.
Alright and, it’s not loud enough.. Oh no, they just said the word… shhhhh
You know what, that’s a good question, I’m trying to remember what movie was in. Was it in a movie? Let’s start with that. You’re going with yes. So I can’t tell you who the band was. It’s Hungry Eyes, it came out like 1987. What was the movie?
Yes, it was 87.
Huh? What year was it?
87, you got the exact year.
I think you said it wasn’t. It could have been St. Elmo’s Fire.
“something about”
You got me in, you got me on the movie kid.
You go the name, okay, I’ll give you a hint of who’s in it.
Okay.
Patrick Swayze.
Alright was it Ghost? No, that’s too late. Was it Dirty Dancing?
Yep, you got it. You did very good.
Nobody puts baby in a corner but I don’t know, I haven’t looked at it a long time. It was a challenge with Patrick Swayze.
…song Terry, we were like going through. So anyway there are friends helping me with these.
Perfect! I like it. We’ll crowd source the idea.
That’s a good idea.
Patrick Swayze was a bad man, man he was a really talented guy!
Yes.
Remember the Outsiders? It was like the first time I remember seeing him.
Oh yeah.
Oh look at you, yeah I guess you.
Oh there were a lot of guys in that movie.
Too funny.
Well awesome, thanks so much for your time. This is businessgrowthtime.com. You can find all the notes on our blog, we have the video. And if you just want to listen you can just download it on itunes. We are on iTunes, we are on Stitcher. So lots of ways to find and listen to the show while you’re driving, you can just laugh at us and learn at the same time. So that’s what we’re here for. And you also can join our Facebook group which is just on Facebook. Search Business Growth Time and join us there coz we always send out our all the stuff first. We’re going to start working on some, I’m coming up with ideas I haven’t passed to Terry. Some ideas for just special for people in that group. So we want to make sure that you’re joining us there, too. Any final words Terry?
Nah, you know one of the last tips I want to share is the idea of being present, right. If you’re in a conversation whether it’s online or real world, actually be part of it. So Janet and I want to thank you for being so present during this time we just shared today. Thank you very much.
Thank you Terry, thanks for the tips. Talk to you guys soon.